If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I’d get change.
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
If you had one more brain cell, it would be lonely.
If I throw a stick, will you go away?
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
You sir, are the reason god created the middle finger.
I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.
I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.
Isn’t it rather dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
You are the human version of period cramps.
I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull.
You’re as useless as the ‘ueue’ in ‘queue’.
There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.
Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.
You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.